When you are angry, say the prayer of Jesus and try to walk away from the conflict. Take a walk for a moment and, while walking, say the prayer of Jesus.
A common thing that we all confront with is anger provoked by the acts of our neighbour. Sometimes it can be our husband or our wife, the person that we love the most. When we are mad we do and say things that we regret after.
The Holy Apostle Paul said that “For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do” (Romans, 7:15-19).
When we are angry or mad, we are far from God. How can we, as Christian orthodox people to react like this towards our neighbour?
Anger is the result of our own selfishness. This is one of the cases when we have to ask for the help of God, and saying the prayer of Jesus can be very helpful “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, the sinner.” Repeating these words daily for ten minutes will prevent us for getting mad so easily.
Below you may find some ways that can solve the consequences of an argument with your neighbour:
- Make for yourself a regular praying program, and include the prayer of Jesus “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, the sinner” for at least ten minutes a day.
- When you are angry, say the prayer of Jesus and try to walk away from the conflict. Take a walk for a moment and, while walking, say the prayer of Jesus.
- After you have finished your prayer, try and talk with your neighbour and tell him what is the cause of your problem. When you talk to him begin with “I” and not “You”. For instance: “I felt offended when you did…” and not “When you do this… I feel offended”.
When you accuse someone, you are just scaring the person near you that will feel threatened and will try to bring arguments in his or her favour. If you will confess how you feel, then it will be easier for them to confess their feeling.
- Ask that person for a point of view. Tell him or her for instance “I know you didn’t want to hurt me. But why did you do what you did…. ? Help me understand better.” And listen with patience their point of view.
- Both partners need to discuss with love and patience. Pray together! Sometimes a hug is always of help when you want to show your honest love.