The trap of ‘trial marriage’
The mutilated life of their parents scare the children and they try not to repeat their parents’ sad experience. To this effect, they invented the following scheme: ‘We try and if we succeed in everything, if we see that we truly love each other, that we fit one another, then we go to the Registry Office or we marry in church and we continue living many and happy years after or maybe we will even die in the same day.’
In my opinion, in principle, many youths would really want to have a truly good family, but have as example the experience of their own parents. There are many divorced families, many remarried people, some even twice and many single mothers. Their parent’s mutilated life scare the children and they look for means not to repeat their sad experience. To this effect, they invented the following scheme: ‘We try and if we succeed in everything, if we see that we truly love each other, that we fit one another, then we go to the Registry Office or we marry in church and we continue living many and happy years after or maybe we will even die in the same day.’
The handicap of this scheme is that when people start living together, their relationship asks for even more mutual trust than that between parents and their little children. Everyone knows how tight, both physically and morally, is the connection between parents and their children since they have to look after them, to clean them, watch for their every sigh and cry – while the relation in marriage is even more important, in every respect, even for the fact that from this relation children are born. Clearly, this is a very important moment and many tragedies may happen connected to it.
As such, in my opinion, if you gave yourself to another one (for in love, both sacrifice themselves, both give themselves to one another, it is a mutual act), believing that for the moment it is just a trail and the true life will start later on, you are deeply wrong. In fact, you are already married, husband and wife, and the most unpleasant aspect is that you are scared of one another right from the beginning. From the start you think that both you and your dear one are not able to live your life together. You became ‘husband’ and ‘wife’, even if you are not ready for this and have not realized what you have done.
(Translated from Dmitrii Semenik, Dragostea adevărată: taina dragostei înainte și după căsătorie, traducere din limba rusă de Adrian Tănăsescu-Vlas, Editura Sophia, București, 2012, p. 84)
